Always taking the time to question

      Days, months, years have gone by.. not even knowing what to do anymore. They are not questions that you ask yourself on a typical Tuesday or ever really. It is the questions you ask when you're planning on turning your life around or taking something out. The questions that we might run into are am I making to right decision?If I do this, will it affect me in the future? These questions come across and sometimes we tend to brush it off our shoulders, almost like a shrug. It makes it ironic because that shrug that we are continuing to make; is almost like a reassurance that we have no idea how to answer.
      The thing that I ran into in the past week: I realized that I have been holding onto something that I am not so sure it is supposed to be there. When I first got a taste of what I was getting myself into it seemed so sweet, bright, and intelligent I couldn't get enough. It seemed though as if made me more knowledgeable, bringing out a piece of me that I thought never existed, or was it just trying to correct me? What I did know is that it made each corner of my mouth turn into a smile, making me hopeful that it is not the same one that I will have to toss. Some time went by and each bump in the road that I came across caused me to question. Does God want me to keep what I thought was given?Was it supposed to be there in the first place? As this one person once told me "Listen to what your brain is saying because your heart doesn't think" My brain is telling me that it is time to throw away what I had, but when I conceive the thought, the smile starts to fade and my heart continues to feel like it is out of place. Then my heart.. It says to hold onto it dearly just as it told me it loved me... dearly. That if I were to let go I would hurt even more if it was gone.  The brightness that it has brought into my life has been a blessing, so if I let it go will I be making the right decision? So many questions that again I cannot answer. Because only God knows these answers, He is the one that planned our lives out, He is the one to know if you are following, not us.

As the ball is tossed

This is where the saying “There is no I in team” applies. Working on the volleyball team has showed me nothing but unity.  We have gone through the good and bad, the winnings and the loosing. It went from pointing fingers towards who could have hit the ball to “You got that viper pride, yes oh yes!” but not all of that viper pride has came through. I have had my girls come up to me stating that they think some of the other girls do not like them. My question is “Why would they not?” Each one of my girls has their own spice to them. A little bit of spice and everything nice. We were created to be different, so of course they aren’t going to get along ALL THE TIME. But that’s why we learn to work through our dissimilarities and make our team stronger.  

This is what has taken my girls the longest to realize. They cannot win a game on their own, because if it were possible I am pretty sure there would be a play called 1-1.

Our season is coming to an end with only 3 losses though the entire season. Girls I wish you the best for next year, bring what you got and blow the coaches away.

Let’s go vipers!! Side out!! 

Chaos

           As you all know my life is scattered to say at the least. It is as if I am playing football with the NFL players and every time I catch the ball (which isn’t very often) I get tackled. I have victory in my hands, great ideas, you name it and somehow they always get shut down. It is the screaming that happens outside of the fields that narrows it down to my life. But that is not what I am trying to get at. Back to the main focus of this blog; chaos. You know we all have it, it starts with something simple and then when you don’t handle it right then it there, it becomes stressful. Then that stress turns into chaos or it is just chaotic right of the bat. Since it’s my life I can’t really get away from it but I guess you can say that’s what makes me so interesting. I am just a Cali girl that somehow got caught up in Arizona. I could keep clacking my heals together repeating “there’s no place like home”, but we all know I am not going anywhere. To add to my chaos I get to be lover birds with a college kid that goes to ASU. Maybe this is where my chaotic life begins, or maybe it was before that.. Coming out of my mother’s stomach and being around the loud family I have been raised in.

         What brought me to this conception is being sick. I have been doing nothing with myself for 4 days. No working out, no learning, no nothing. I feel as if I have just watching the back of my eyelids, hoping that when I open my eyes I’ll feel much better. Did it happen? No.  I know not doing anything doesn’t really seem to be chaotic but my brain is going crazy. I am the type of person that always is doing something, whether I am cleaning; listen to music, or just the stuff that keeps you going. I am always moving even when I’m supposed to be watching a movie my mind is always elsewhere. Not giving my body time to rest is probably the reason why I am still sick. But it is the chaos that keeps me going.